To the men who may read this stop now... I'm about to delve into a subject that might put you into a coma.
Tomorrow around 6pm I will be going through the pre-date ritual of standing in front of a full length mirror wearing two different shoes. Shoe A will be a relatively comfortable heal 3in or under in some neutral tone- probably beige or black- and cute in an understated way. I will like shoe A- friendly, not too flashy, pretty, something I can walk in or bus in- the kind of heal I would wear at work.
Shoe B will be something out of a movie (007 possibly, porn more likely). Shoe B I will adore. Shoe B will be flash and sex and 4inches high. Shoe B is a Taxicab shoe. Shoe B pleases me simply because it exists in my closet, they are a few extra inches, a little added splash of color, a distinction. Shoe B is the shoe even the most unobservant of dates will notice- if they like it or not doesn't matter- they will notice. Shoe B will cripple me by the end of the night, but will show off my red toe-nail polish.
And I will stand alternating from one foot to the other in a full length mirror debating the merits of shoe A vs. shoe B. I will shift and turn and study from every angle, sit and stand and spin around. Shoe A, Shoe B- what are the chances of rain? How far am I going to be walking? Will there be seats at the bar? I may even ask the roommate. He seems to appreciate shoes, has a good eye etc. I will probably not take his advice, but I'll ask for it, factor it into my final decision. The same decision I make every time.
Take an Advil, wear B and wonder to myself if maybe this time my date will have a shoe fetish.
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