Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead Walk Into a Bar....


Project Mayhem April 2004. There was a lot of saki involved, a low cut shirt and a game of spin the bottle in the middle of a restaurant. Through devious means and brilliant manipulation, my Wing Man managed to maneuver not only a hot and heavy make-out session between me and my crush but was also able to make him think it was his idea. Ladies and Gentlemen may I introduce to you- Ms. K. - hilarious, lovely, brilliant 6ft tall Texas redhead, my best friend and The Perfect Wing Man.
January 2009 Ms. K. is in town- and having got wind of my 100 dates plan, she’s loaded for bear.
You might think girls on the hunt would get dressed up in their cleavage baring, leg showing, tight dress finest; head out to the clubs to bump and grind against the suave men of SF. You might think we would spend our time running back and forth to the bathroom to check our makeup/discuss boys/plan our escape route…whatever. Indeed, we had planned on doing just that.
But we didn’t. We had spent all day wine tasting (and flirting with young cute vintners) and frankly were feeling a little lazy. Running around the mission in tight dresses and 4inch heals seemed like a little too much work.
Instead we met up with another friend- the beautiful and charming Ms. N and headed out to the local (and cheesetastic) watering hole. We set up shop on three stools smack dab in the middle of the bar, smiled at the bartender and ordered a drink practically served in a trough. It came with 3 straws, fruit and umbrellas.
Yes, it’s perfect.
Funny thing about being three girls sitting in the middle of a very crowded bar- you have direct access to the bartender.
Funny thing about having direct access to the bartender- everyone has to go through you to order drinks… EVERYONE.
If you have a 6ft redhead around, she’s not going to be upset about all the interruptions. She is going to make the most of it.
“Oh, do you need a drink? Sure you do, what do you need? The bartender and I are tight… 10 beers? Fantastic, but you have to do me a favor…Bartender 10 coronas for this guy- Thanks! Oh, that favors- What’s your name..? Joe Dude, this is my blonde friend- cute isn’t she?”
In the mean time I’m making small talk about nail polish with some girl who has also bellied up to the bar in an attempt at ordering for her table- totally oblivious to what’s going on behind me.
The Bartender hands me the 10 beers Ms. K has ordered for Joe Dude. “I didn’t order these…”
“Hi Blonde Friend- I’m Joe Dude…”
“Hi Joe…”
“Help me with these beers?” Smile, Wink.
Did he just wink at me?
I look at Ms. K- she’s talking to some Big Bald and Burly- I hear my name mentioned…She looks over and smiles. Trouble.
“So, the beer?”
“Oh sure- yeah here you go…”
“Thanks Blonde Friend.” Wink…
And as he walks away I think-Yeah he totally winked at me…twice…I look at Ms. K. She’s chatting up a group of guys who just walked in…
Then the bartender puts a fruit and umbrella drink in front of me- trough size…
“Oh I didn’t order this…”
“It’s for me… I’m Mr. Burly… Hi Blonde Friend…”


Mr. Burly got my number- on a bar napkin.



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