Not All Dates End in a Kiss

Date 2 Guy 2
I'll start by saying there was never any intention of romance in this date and then argue despite the fact that it was romance-free from the start it was still a date. Guy 2 is 79 years old. His granddaughters are my age. According to him people in my generation don't really date at all and that's why we "date" for so long only to find it isn't working. He met his wife, went on five "real dates" over the course of two months and then married her- they were married for over 40 years.
Maybe he's right. I've heard people talk about how fun dating used to be- how it wasn't a chore. How the first date was something to look forward to and how you did every thing you could to make the other person feel special. The way he talks about it- they way a lot of people talk about dating makes me feel a bit lazy. I like dating- I don't think of it as a chore or a requirement (talk to me again when I'm on date 63...) but I can't help but feel like I've been half ass-ing it.
When was the last time I went on a date where someones only focus was making sure I felt special?
When was the last time my only focus was on making my date feel special?
And could I pull it off without coming off as creepy?

One Down

Date 1 Guy 1- Brit, his mum worries

It's a funny thing when you meet up with a stranger for drinks- there always seems to be this awkward moment of staring at each other and smiling sheepishly. It's usually the worst moment of the evening- the point at which you have to decide who is going to say what first. It's a painful 30 seconds that often ends with you and your date both blurting out some stupid question at the same time.

"So what do you do for a living...?"

"Did you see that the weather in Spokane is....?" neither one of you really hears what the other one is saying because you are so frantic to blurt out something.

"No, Go ahead...?" "No, you please..."

Ugh... so you smile again and pray the bartender will show up to take your order.

Lucky for me at the very beginning of Date 1, Guy 1 said "So... you know you are nuts?”

Yes, clearly I am. I'm also now relieved, relaxed, and smiling- you take a big risk telling a girl she is crazy right off the bat. Clearly #1 has some stones.
Charming and funny in a slightly self-deprecating sort of way. Thinks I'm nuts- and told me. Bonus points because I liked the honesty and he didn't seem too concerned about my status as crazy. Nice guy, fantastic accent and over all a good way to start off my year.
The warm and fuzzy moment- he asked why I had a band-aid on and then after studying the methodical way in which I had managed to manipulate it in an origami like fashion onto my finger he asked me put one on his finger in the same way- and wore a bright red bandage on his thumb for the rest of the night.

A word of warning should you find yourself in the bar of a particular fusion restaurant… The lounge looks amazingly comfortable, low slung and sexy, but take heed ladies, there is a very good chance for wardrobe malfunction. I found myself precariously perched on a leather cube made for hobbits (yes, I'm short but not that short), bashing my shins against the free-form metal table top, desperately trying to be moderately lady like and not flash the goods from under my skirt or have my boobs pop out while I'm leaning across the doll-sized table to reach for my drink. He kindly offered me the couch seat but since it was even lower than the cube I politely declined.
Thank you boarding school for teaching me how to sit without having a Hollywood starlet getting out of her car photo op. On the other hand it would have made a fantastic first impression…

The Great Debate

To the men who may read this stop now... I'm about to delve into a subject that might put you into a coma.

Tomorrow around 6pm I will be going through the pre-date ritual of standing in front of a full length mirror wearing two different shoes. Shoe A will be a relatively comfortable heal 3in or under in some neutral tone- probably beige or black- and cute in an understated way. I will like shoe A- friendly, not too flashy, pretty, something I can walk in or bus in- the kind of heal I would wear at work.

Shoe B will be something out of a movie (007 possibly, porn more likely). Shoe B I will adore. Shoe B will be flash and sex and 4inches high. Shoe B is a Taxicab shoe. Shoe B pleases me simply because it exists in my closet, they are a few extra inches, a little added splash of color, a distinction. Shoe B is the shoe even the most unobservant of dates will notice- if they like it or not doesn't matter- they will notice. Shoe B will cripple me by the end of the night, but will show off my red toe-nail polish.

And I will stand alternating from one foot to the other in a full length mirror debating the merits of shoe A vs. shoe B. I will shift and turn and study from every angle, sit and stand and spin around. Shoe A, Shoe B- what are the chances of rain? How far am I going to be walking? Will there be seats at the bar? I may even ask the roommate. He seems to appreciate shoes, has a good eye etc. I will probably not take his advice, but I'll ask for it, factor it into my final decision. The same decision I make every time.

Take an Advil, wear B and wonder to myself if maybe this time my date will have a shoe fetish.

Craig- Roommates, cars, jobs... Dates- jurry's still out.

Craig- interesting thing CL.

You really do see a wide range of people responding to adds- Yes I know old news and yes, I’ve had a few responses that seem to be great- easy funny guys who are looking to be a little more social etc.

Then there are the others.

Here are a few gems-.

“Hi, you seem cool, good luck”
Ummm… ok thanks. I’m all about positive feedback but do you want me to respond or were you just giving me props?

“Hit me back- let’s do this. (Insert photo of man leaning back in his desk chair with his Junk in his hand here)”
No.

“Blah Blah Blah Blah… charm charm charm charm, Oh by the way I’m married”
Note to self- should I choose to go this route again be more specific in requirements of potential dates.

Then there was this one…
“Hello, I’m a dude and I’m fantastic, I’m even funny… oh and I’m wicked hot as you can see in my photo… I like your attitude and would like to be one of your 100- maybe even more than one of your 100 because who knows we could hit it off. Did I mention that I’m wicked hot and on paper at least seem perfect?”

Holy bovine you ARE wicked hot… and now I find myself in a strange position.
When I’m out I smile, I listen I can carry on a conversation and flirt, I am the least intimidating chick in a bar and this works for me.

"Average Joe with a funny streak” hits on me in a bar.
“I play a lot of video games” hits on me in a bar.
“Cute chubby chaser” hits on me in a bar.
Wicked hot smiles and talks to me but wicked hot does NOT hit on me in a bar.

So I respond to Wicked hot… charm, flirt, I even agree to a date because after all that is what this little experiment is all about and now I can’t help but wonder-
What is wicked hot going to think about going on a date with the least intimidating chick in a bar?

And so it begins...

So lets start this thing off with a bang-

This was posted on CL 1/02/09

"Gentleman I need your assistance. Last year my Resolution was to change my favorite color to blue- a bit of a cop-out as far as resolutions go so I needed something a bit more challenging this year. 100 dates by 2010- yes that would be about 2 dates/week.

Not out of the realm of possibility sure, but a bit of a challenge without some help from more unusual sources- like my new friend Craig.

About me- I’m 28, single, 5’3”, blond with green eyes- I fall very nicely into the “cute” category. I’m a size 14- so if you like your girls thin or spending hours at the gym I’m not the girl for you, (I do have a number of friends I could introduce you too though).

I love getting out of the city, (I’ve been known to go on trips at a moments notice). I sing in the car- but not the shower. I have a degree and a fun job where I work slightly odd hours but get to hang out with people I enjoy. I have a fantastic gang of friends in the area and spread out across the country. I love to go dancing. The dinner parties are usually at my house and yes, I put my friends to work in the kitchen but I always feed them well for their efforts.

Yes ideally this little adventure would land me in a LTR (and if I go out with you twice it counts as two dates) but worse case scenario I have a few good stories to talk about when I’m 80.

I ask only a few things of a potential date-

You should have a sense of humor.

You should be able to carry on a conversation with a stranger.

You should also be over the age of 21.

Pictures are available on request- but only if you send me yours. So tell me a bit about yourself…

Happy New Year"

Why would I do this? Well the obvious answer is I'm nuts... and that isn't out of the realm of possibility but the truth is I often find myself meeting men and not taking the time to get to know them before jumping into a relationship or avoiding putting myself on the line for some relatively dumb reason usually dealing with my own insecurities.

I'm over it. Seriously isn't it time to be ok with getting to know someone- spending an hour having a conversation or sharing an experience without all the pressure. I have 100 dates to go on this year- If I have a bad one, or a just ok one no worries- I've got more. If I have a great one- Fantastic maybe someone will get to be date 20, 21 and 22...

Short story long, I'm totaly excited about this.