I have two dates tomorrow. For a girl who didn't get out all that much last year this is an exciting phenomenon- one my Dude Friends tell me is something to be proud of.
Ok I'll be proud.
I do on the other hand feel a bit like a date slut.
Luckily they are both at similar venues so I don't have to cart around another set of clothing- could you imagine me attempting to change in my car while driving a stick shift down Van Ness? Stockings flying, jacket wedged at the elbows behind my back, holding the steering wheel with my teeth while attempting to wiggle out of a pair of jeans? (I may bring another pair of shoes because I'm that girl but shoes don't really count). And while I don't have to worry about a costume change, they are at opposite ends of town. If date 3 lasts more than 2.5hrs I'm going to be late to date 4. Timing it seems, could be problematic. And how do you subtly check your clock to see what time it is? Or do you say at the beginning that you are going to have to leave at O-dark-Thirty? It seems either one of those options would set an uncomfortable tone.
The other issue is that both dates are at bars. Fantastic. I get to show up to date 4 smelling like stale beer- nothing says "I'm a classy girl you might like to get to know better" like the sent of Dive Bar.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
'So I think I have to cancel tonight..."
I opened my e-mail today and read this...
'So I think I have to cancel tonight, I had an unusual insomniac night last night and I don't think I'll be much of a fun date tonight... Maybe we could reschedule for later this week?'
Ugh.
My gut tells me this isn't going to get rescheduled. Cheesy relationship books tell me this isn't going to get rescheduled. My dude friends tell me this isn't going to get rescheduled. I'm hoping I'm wrong. I'm hoping Sex and the City is wrong and god knows- I'm hoping my dudes are wrong (because I get a perverse sense of satisfaction when my dudes are wrong) but I really don't think they are.
I've got an outfit planned, So I'm going out anyway.
I'm also attempting to cultivate multiple options- sounds impressive huh? Much more so than what I've actually been doing which is flirting at every opportunity.
Example- Strudel Guy.
Strudel Guy is a twenty-something working at a local coffee shop. I chatted with him the other day, smiled, joked, got my coffee a bit of strudel moved on. Strudel Guy was flirty and cute and made a funny joke about whipped cream. Today I saw Strudel Guy again. I ordered strudel from him- didn't actually want strudel but that's beside the point. Today I smiled, made a joke about dropping my strudel all over the sidewalk before noon (it was funny at the time) and he said it's after noon somewhere and therefore totally appropriate to be dropping strudel (again totally funny at the time). We laugh, I walk out with a bag of strudel.
Example- Strudel Guy.
Strudel Guy is a twenty-something working at a local coffee shop. I chatted with him the other day, smiled, joked, got my coffee a bit of strudel moved on. Strudel Guy was flirty and cute and made a funny joke about whipped cream. Today I saw Strudel Guy again. I ordered strudel from him- didn't actually want strudel but that's beside the point. Today I smiled, made a joke about dropping my strudel all over the sidewalk before noon (it was funny at the time) and he said it's after noon somewhere and therefore totally appropriate to be dropping strudel (again totally funny at the time). We laugh, I walk out with a bag of strudel.
Now it's likely Strudel Guy flirts with everyone but for the second time this week I've walked out of the coffee shop feeling a little more charming and a little more confident to try this out on someone who doesn't sell me strudel.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
So I’m sitting in the living room today talking to The Roommate and a friend of his about my 100 when this phrase was uttered-
“You are going to ask out men too, yes?”
Oh lord the thought never really occurred to me. Sure there was some vague notion somewhere in the outer recesses of my mind that I might have to ask someone out but it didn’t really connect with the fact that I’m actually going to have to approach, hit-on and ask for numbers. I’m not talking about flirting my way getting him to ask me, or meeting up with a friend of a friend a few times until I can find some excuse to invite him out to do something, i.e.: “Oh by the way I just happen to have these two tickets to the game and you said you liked… umm… sports… so I thought you might want to go… with me?”. I’m talking about the thing that just thinking about it makes me want to call the entire thing off.
I’m going to have to go out on the prowl.
How is a girl- an average girl- supposed to do this? The two schools of thought seem to be 1- You are totally honest and say hi, I like you and I’d like to get your number so we can hang out, or 2- you don’t ask, they either ask you, or they aren’t interested. The first seems almost too aggressive and the second isn’t anything- literally.
“You are going to ask out men too, yes?”
Oh lord the thought never really occurred to me. Sure there was some vague notion somewhere in the outer recesses of my mind that I might have to ask someone out but it didn’t really connect with the fact that I’m actually going to have to approach, hit-on and ask for numbers. I’m not talking about flirting my way getting him to ask me, or meeting up with a friend of a friend a few times until I can find some excuse to invite him out to do something, i.e.: “Oh by the way I just happen to have these two tickets to the game and you said you liked… umm… sports… so I thought you might want to go… with me?”. I’m talking about the thing that just thinking about it makes me want to call the entire thing off.
I’m going to have to go out on the prowl.
How is a girl- an average girl- supposed to do this? The two schools of thought seem to be 1- You are totally honest and say hi, I like you and I’d like to get your number so we can hang out, or 2- you don’t ask, they either ask you, or they aren’t interested. The first seems almost too aggressive and the second isn’t anything- literally.
My standard approach of “Hi stranger, help me carry all the drinks I just ordered for my friends?” smile, charm, batting of eyelashes- may no longer cut it.
And where do I go to do this? Is there a part of town that’s better for this than another? Are there rules? (In the Marina you can only be approached, but in the Mission it’s ladies choice?).
And where do I go to do this? Is there a part of town that’s better for this than another? Are there rules? (In the Marina you can only be approached, but in the Mission it’s ladies choice?).
Crap.
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